425.entourage.012508It doesn’t make you cool if you walk like this…

I gave up on Entourage a long, long time ago. Predictable plot lines, atrocious acting, entire episodes that never garner more than a mild snicker, I could complain about this show for hours before ever getting to any of my major qualms about things like realism, Hollywood, etc.

I’m certainly not alone in my criticism, but it feels like more and more people think this show is good, clever and funny, and some of these people aren’t complete idiots.

So I sat down on the couch one more time and gave it a try.

Not a single laugh.

Where to start (warning: Spoilers, but not really since I’m not giving anything away):

E on a hot streak:

I’m not sure what I find less realistic, that a guy who is 35 and only about 4 feet tall is on a “hot streak,” or that a hot “Hollywood manager” like E allegedly is, still hides his cell phone and acts like a 11-year-old girl when the guys ask him who he’s talking to. There is absolutely no way that the Entourage house doesn’t have a full disclosure act, especially if Vince is such a ladykiller. The fact that E continually acts like such a B is one of the most annoying parts of the show. If I’m a New Yorker, I’m incredible upset about this. He’d last five minutes in Queens with that attitude.

Vince on Jay Leno:

Yes, I know that sometimes you shoot things a few months in advance of it actually airing, but wouldn’t you think the masterminds at HBO would remind the crack writing team that Jay Leno isn’t actually on the air anymore? It’s not like this wasn’t announced like 7 years ago. Nothing says you’re hip and with it by having your season premiere already obsolete when it airs. It’s also another sign that Entourage has become Jay Leno — a comedian enjoyed by the masses but no where as clever, funny, or smart as others on the air.

jayearlA show about Hollywood should know both shows are canceled, right? Right?

The Miller/Gold Agency:

I’m not so sold on having Ricky Bobby’s dad as an agent, especially if his big signing is the showrunner for My Name is Earl. Ari knows that they CANCELED THAT SHOW, right? It happened like three months ago, so it’s not exactly news anymore. Also — to say that Lloyd doesn’t have a future after  years working on the desk of one of the biggest pricks and stars in the agenting business is just plain dumb. It would take like 10 minutes of creativity to figure out a way to incorporate Lloyd into the show in a new way, but I’m sure we’re way better served listening to the same 7 jokes that Ari makes about Lloyd being gay, Asian, and chubby. These next 100 days are sure going to be crazy!

Everything Else:

A quick shotgun of complaints: Sloan and E’s chemistry — Paul Walker even thinks that was bad acting… Vince, want to work on parallel parking with my Maserati and Mustang as parking cones? Stupid… You know how great our drivers test gag was at the DMV? Let’s use it as the joke on Leno five minutes later. You actually pay staff writers, don’t you HBO?.. Notice how Debi Mazar didn’t have that terrible assistant with her? Probably because her dad isn’t the president of HBO anymore… If Jeremy Piven can shoot an 82 on the golf course, Kim Jong-Il really shot 38-under in his first round.

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